Unknown Armies:Personality

Who the hell do you think you are? Are you a lover or a fighter? Capricorn or Leo? Harry Potter or Darth Maul? You need a quick way of summing up how you present yourself, because that's as much attention as most people are going to pay you. You could use a role model, like a Good Cop or a Reluctant Warrior. You could use a Zodiac profile, not because it's really when you were born but because millions of people read the damn things in the newspaper already and know what they mean. Or you could use a pop-culture figure, like Lancelot, Gatsby or Joey from Friends. Pick a role and play it. You've already figured out the real you—this is the you that other people can relate to.

Role Model Personality Examples

The Good Cop: You’re tough but fair. You make a point to stay in regular contact with the people in your community, and you work hard to earn their trust. You want to do good, but sometimes the power you wield is frightening.

The Bad Cop: You’re the Pit Bull of society. Nobody wants you around their kids until danger strikes, and then they throw you at the problem and hope for the best. That’s fine by you. You don’t need approval—you just need a target.

The Reluctant Warrior: You’ve trained yourself to be a kick-ass fighter. You’re a master of weapons. Your body is a deadly instrument. But you keep it all in reserve until the day you have to take a stand, because the way of the warrior is a private one.

The Weary Observer: You’ve seen it all before. Nothing surprises you, except maybe genuine, selfless kindness. Nothing disappoints you, unless it’s unqualified enthusiasm. Nothing impresses you, except a show of greater cynicism.

The Femme Fatale: You’re the trouble that every man’s looking for, the sticky sweet they’ll pay for later with cavities and heartache, but you just don’t care—and they just can’t resist. You get what you want, they get used up and trampled underfoot. Secretly, they like it just fine that way.

The Outside Agitator: You’ve been marginalized, betrayed, and laughed at, but you’ve never been stopped for good. You know your cause is just. The Powers That Be may oppose you, but they can’t afford to ignore you.

Sample Zodiac Personalities

Aries: You’re courageous, powerful, straightforward, and incredibly egocentric. Everything’s always about you, you, you. You’d make a good boxer.

Taurus: You just keep plowing along without letting setbacks get you down. You generally get the job done, but you rarely pause to ask if it’s worth doing. You’d make a good receptionist or cop.

Gemini: You see both sides of every question and can quickly reach the facts. Unfortunately, you prefer Truth to facts—so you spend a lot of time debating with yourself. Gemini are often philosophy professors or strung-out druggies.

Cancer: You’re intuitive and sensitive, and your loyalty to the group is tremendous. This often sets you up for disappointment, if not outright betrayal. You’d be a swell mom, with a pack of sons who come by every weekend to check up on you.

Leo: Leadership and authority are your strengths. Arrogance and an insatiable hunger for approval are your weaknesses. You need people to do things to. You’d make a good CEO or cult leader.

Virgo: Wise, cautious and pure, you’re efficient and hard to fool. Proving you’re smarter is one of your favorite things in the whole world. Virgos make good lawyers, drama critics, art critics, book critics... you get the picture.

Libra: You believe what goes around, comes around. This makes it easy for you to shrug off failures and overcome setbacks. However, it also means that you can be an ungrateful jerk.

Scorpio: You’re relentless. Your indomitable will scares people, but also fascinates them. Scorpios are known as great lovers and cruel ex-lovers. Scorpios are the most effective poets, pimps, and telemarketers.

Sagittarius: You’re more concerned with results than theories. You don’t waste your time trying to control others, and you expect them to extend you the same courtesy. If you’re not a drifter, you’ll probably wind up as a freelance something or other.

Capricorn: Versatile, patient and subtle, you prefer to work slowly, adapting to changing circumstances but always building a power structure with yourself at the center. If someone crosses you today, you’ll back down now and pay him back in a year. Capricorns make good spymasters and better snitches.

Aquarius: You are reactive, perceptive, and good at keeping your cool. Skilled with deals and compromises, your friends often rely on you to smooth things over – until you decide that you can sell them out for advantage. Being willing to compromise everything often means you stand for nothing.

Pisces: Crisis brings out the best in you, because you’re best at doing two things at once. In less stressful circumstances, this can make you look scatterbrained. You’re good at any other job that’s 99% waiting and 1% sheer terror. Priests and hookers also tend to be Pisces.

Pop Culture Personality Examples

Kane from Kung Fu: You are a mystic and a philosopher, a rootless seeker after knowledge. Yet time and again the world pulls you back into itself. Someone needs help, and while you seek to expand their mind you also have to kick some ass.

Joe Pesci in Goodfellas: You’re the life of the party, everybody’s good-time pal. But at the drop of a hat you rock and roll. You can turn your attitude on a dime to address the situation at hand, weaving confidently between friendship and violence like a bipolar skier. People want to be your friend because they’re afraid to be your enemy.

Heather Donahue in The Blair Witch Project: You may be bossy, but it’s because you’re the one with the plans and ideas. You never give up, even when you’re scared and over your head, because ultimately you feel responsible for your followers.

Louise from Thelma and Louise: You’ve spent a lot of time waiting to bust loose, and now that you have, no one’s going to tell you what to do. You may be impulsive and headstrong, but you’re willing to pay if that’s the price of freedom.

Professor Snape from Harry Potter: You have absolutely no problem being a jerk. You’re surrounded by fools and inferiors who resent your intelligence. But you have no need to prove them wrong—you just do the hard jobs that have to get done while they quiver and quaver, and the hell with what anyone thinks.

Obi-wan Kenobi from Star Wars: You are the still, calm center around which chaos swirls. You share your wisdom where it’s needed, but otherwise you keep your own counsel. You seek out people who need your help—not just to achieve an exterior goal, but an interior one as well.